Online Dating for You After a Divorce?
Do Us Part?
That certainly was a lie. Your spouse got the house, a younger
you, and you got the children. Definitely not an even split there.
later - Enter your friend...
can't just sit around by yourself forever."
You: "But I'm
not alone. I have the children."
children, humph. They don't keep you warm at night, do they?"
"It's not like that anymore."
course it's not. Really, it isn't."
know someone. This person is recently divorced too."
Freeze Frame. Get rid of friend. You can mail the coat after you
finally get over the fact that the first choice for you is someone
who failed Marriage 101 too. When you are ready to date, when you
have moved that big band-aid off your heart, it won't be so that
a friend of a friend can dance on your scab. It will be because
you're ready to share your life with someone again.
Three months have passed. Following the coldest winter in history,
you remembered to send your friend the coat. Guilt over your friend's
pneumonia leads you to go on the date with the divorced acquaintance.
Less than twenty minutes into the date, it is revealed that this
person thinks all children can benefit greatly from boarding schools.
You personally get a thrill out of tucking your children in each
night. Your date also has no idea why the nagging ex was so close-minded
about boarding schools in general. Once the gates are open, the
ex becomes the hot topic for the evening.
After that horrendous experience which cost you not only taxi
fare but also two dollars for aspirin to relieve your splitting
headache, you decide that research, among other things, is definitely
in order before the next date with anyone. Your perfect match likes
children and not merely from a distance. Should be a nonsmoker
because breathing for some weird reason is very important to you
and those you love. An advance college degree would represent the
person's desire to be a high achiever.
How should you go about finding this one in a million person when
you have an extremely limited schedule that gives you barely any
free time after the kids and a fulltime job? Bars and clubs? Not
too many out there for single parents. Even if there were, children
require sitters, and with the divorce not too far behind you, you
would feel guilty for leaving them anyway, especially if the date
turned out to be a waste of time.
The practical solution - online dating. It can be done from your
home; you can view biographies of your prospects in a low pressured
environment. For shits and giggles, you can also allow the kids
to view some of the photographs. They might actually enjoy having
a say in your love life.
Online dating is also inexpensive. With children, you need every
penny you can save. For what you would pay for a pair of designer
jeans for your oldest daughter, you can probably get a year's membership
in an online dating service. If it works out well, you soon might
have someone else to buy your children's clothes.
With screening elements built into their programs, online dating
companies, such as Yahoo Personals and eHarmony, will allow you
to define your own standards so that you can hopefully avoid those
with whom you are incompatibility.
A new outfit for a date - $70.00
Trip to the salon - $55.00
Time wasted after realizing your date put the "lose" in loser - 3 hours
Opportunity cost (a game of Clue with the children) - priceless
Your time is too precious to waste. With online dating, you can
make every moment count.
Ann Bendis writes about online
dating and relationships at http://www.singleattractions.com