1. The key to being
a great date is to love yourself.
Nothing is more attractive
than an individual who regards himself highly.
It doesn't matter of you're short, fat, bald or hairy in all the
wrong places. You've heard the maxim, "You can't love somebody
until you love yourself," and it's true, but nobody else is
going to love you until you love yourself, either. Self-love attracts
love like a magnet.
2. Resolve to be yourself and only yourself.
Don't tell me you're
not interesting enough, good-looking enough, smart enough. Ask
yourself: Do you want your date to like you for somebody you are
or for somebody you aren't? Right. Now, be yourself, and understand
that maybe your date will like you and maybe he or she won't. Either
way, you'll live. I promise.
3. Visualize quiet confidence.
For several days before your date,
visualize yourself sitting with him or her and feeling calm, cool,
and attractive. Really feel it! See, hear, and feel yourself laughing
easily. Feel yourself smiling. Practice this while you're waiting
to order your coffee in the company cafeteria. Do it in the Laundromat.
Feel it until it feels real.
4. Make a list of all the things you have going for you.
A great
sense of humor? Compassion? Beautiful teeth? Are you an executive
at an up-and-coming company? Write down your desirable qualities
and read the list several times a day. Let it sink in. Knowing
what makes you special will give you confidence and an inner glow
on the big night.
5. Now that you know what makes you wonderful, keep it to yourself.
No need to turn the date into an infomercial: Avoid mentioning
that you're considered the unofficial mayor of your town because
you're so popular. Don't brag about how you trounced Texas Tess
in the chili competition. Allow your date to make little discoveries
about you. Trust him or her to see that you're an excellent catch.
6. View your shortcomings as positives.
A healthy person will
be drawn to you despite the fact that you drive a 1987 Chevette,
as long as you're kind, considerate, and funny. If you're ten pounds
overweight, there are people who will find you sexy because they'll
perceive you as being slightly indulgent. If you're a man who's
balding and consider it a disadvantage, decide to make it an advantage.
Many women see a disappearing hairline as a sign of virility.
7. Have reasonable expectations of the other person.
What's more
revolting than a paunchy guy who expects his girlfriend to look
like Paris Hilton? Or, a woman in a dead-end job who turns her
nose up at the guy driving the 1987 Chevette? If you want to find
somebody who will like you for you, be sure to return the favor.
8. Don't stereotype.
All women are not desperate to get married.
All men do not fear commitment. Purge your noggin of the nonsense
the media have fed you about the opposite sex. Look your date in
the eye and treat him like a human being, not like somebody you
must manipulate. Treat your date as you would have him or her treat
you. You will be successful beyond your wildest dreams.
9. Remember, it's a
date, not a job interview.
Don't view this person as a potential
spouse. Remove the pressure. See him or her
as an acquaintance you'd like to turn into a friend. That's it.
Break the ice with a compliment, but avoid making overly personal
remarks like, "Wow, you look hot in those pants." Something
non-threatening like, "Nice shirt," works well because
it conveys that you think your date has good taste!
10. Stay away from sex.
I don't care if you're a man or a woman,
sex on the first date is bad news. Don't even think about it! Having
sex on the first date sets up all sorts of weird and uncomfortable
expectations. Furthermore, you could end up with a deadly disease.
Hit the sheets only after you're sure you're both healthy, and
that you actually like the other person. It makes for much better
sex.
11. Accept the possibility that you'll be rejected.
Maybe you
and your sexy somebody will hit it off. Maybe you won't. When I
was single, I often reminded myself that even Bruce Springsteen
(the biggest, sexiest rock star of the time) faced rejection by
the opposite sex at one time or another. So have Britney Spears,
Brad Pitt, and all the other luminaries we've been trained to envy.
Everybody faces rejection. Everybody. Not just you!
